Torn between two names

[Jaye]

I'm gonna come out as genderqueer to my friends, and been thinking about whether or not i'm gonna ask them to call me something different. irl i'm known as Jenny which I don't mind that much, but would quite like a unisex name. So was thinking of using Jaye because its got some connection to my name. But then if I could go with any name, I quite like Charley.

So wondering, when chosing a name would you go with one that had a connection to your previous name, or a name you really liked?

[Psychopomp]

Charley sounds more old-fashioned of the two names. I'm a modern and exotic name person, personally, so I'm swayed toward Jaye.

[Ryles]

I don't know where you are- but I've never heard "Charlie" or any variation of it as a neutral name in the US (at least east-coast).

There's really no point in going with a connection to your old name unless you want to. I think that's more a stupid stereotype, I haven't seen very many trans people actually choose a name that's close to their old one unless their old one has significant meaning. I've more seen it as "What if Henrietta was Henry" to say "What if Henrietta had been assigned-male at birth?" by cis people.

[Psychopomp]

I don't know where you are- but I've never heard "Charlie" or any variation of it as a neutral name in the US (at least east-coast).

I think the main character in Stephen King's book Firestarter was a girl named Charlie. I think. Never read it myself.

[Lyn Aven]

I've met a couple of girls that go by Charli or similar; it's often short for Charlene, which is a little old-fashioned but not unheard of.

[Jaye]

Charlie is more common for men I think, but still unisex and its short for Charlotte as well. And its the name of one of the Doctor Who's female companions in some of the Big Finish stories (Not that I'm a total geek and would know such things... )

I think i'm going to go with Jaye, simply because I don't want to come out to my parents yet and if they hear of my new name it's a lot easier to justify Jaye as a nickname than Charley. And its growing on me - I think i'm just not used to a one syllable name.

And I came out to one of my friends tonight, who's trans so knows a little bit about it so was pretty easy. And she's totally cool with calling me Jaye from now on

[Lyn Aven]

Trans friends are of course the easiest to come out to. *laugh* My best friend, who is trans, knew about me literally YEARS before anyone else.

[Ryles]

Oh, cool.

And for the most part, I don't think anyone complains when a "girl" has a clearly male name (I know a trans guy who goes by 'Oliver', and before he passed people would give him "Oh, what an unusual name for a girl!"), so even if it was completely male you could go with it if you wanted.