Ok, so I've told my parents and my sister and a few select friends about being queer and genderqueer. And I think I want to tell the rest of my family and friends soon. But every time I've tried to tell someone I can't figure out how to start talking about it. So I decided to write a letter and send it to everyone. ...But even in a letter, I can't figure out how the hell I'm supposed to start explaining about being genderqueer. I can handle coming out as queer. People know what that is, even though they're not going to expect it to come from me. But the genderqueer thing...? My sister already knew what it was (even though she doesn't believe it's really me...long story...) because she's studied it for a research project. And the friends who I told are all people who were in an LGBT and queer program at my college, so they either knew about it already or learned about it in class. So that was all fairly easy. My parents don't get it, and when I came out to them I had this whole thing written down (and now of course I can't find the paper) and I still sounded confused.
So every time I go to write this letter I start explaining one thing and it leads to having to explain another thing and then another and defining words and then I feel like I have to rationalize it somehow but I don't know how to do that because I can't exactly "prove" that this is really how I feel and then I read over what I've written and I realize that no one in their right mind would understand it. It jumps around and is totally nonlinear, which I guess kind of makes sense, given that identities are never really linear. I just don't know.
Even this is all just a jumble of words that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I wish I could just figure out how to explain it easily. But given the nature of living in a binary world, explaining a non-binary identity isn't ever going to be easy.
Anyway, got any ideas about how I can make this a tad bit simpler? Or at least how I can get through it?
"There are two types of male oysters, & one can change genders at will. Before man crawled out of the muck, maybe he had the same option. Maybe we're supposed to be able to switch genders, & being born with just one sex is a mutation."