My Mother is A Religious Lesbian

[PrinceOfNothing]

When I was five my father and mother divorced.
At the time,I was more comfortable being with my mother,she didn't intimidate me like my father did..
I think it wasn't that long afterwards that my mom became a lesbian.
So in kinder garden,I was asked all these questions whenever kids saw my mother,with very short cropped hair and wearing boy clothes. I had no idea what was going on,I just thought that my mom's girlfriend was my second mommy,and all of mommy's friends were mommys too.

My mother never bothered to explain and that really doesn't bother me at all.
What bothers me is that even NOW...She is still a christian.
Getting on to me when I say the lord's name in vain and giving me gifts that say,"you are my gift from god" that makes me cringe.And once I asked her,"What if I didn't believe in God?" She gave me the most devastating glare and basically said I'd go to hell.
I've never had the best relationship with my mom on an intimate level,or educational.
I am not saying that having a religion and being a lesbian is WRONG,not in the least..
*rubs temples* But why..oh WHY Christianity? I suppose because HER mom lives in freakin Biringham Alabama and she grew up with that hardwired into her.
I'm too tired to continue this rant,but I'd love to hear if anyone else has this similar problem.

~Blair

[Ravin]

I remember when I first came out in TX the GLBT student group at the university I was at had the local MCC church come speak. It made no.effing.sense to me. Pretty much as soon as I accepted myself, Christianity went out the window.

I'm glad for your mom that she's found the spiritual path that make sense to her and successfully reconciled it with her sexuality/identity. I'm sorry she's adopted the same obnoxious close-minded attitude as so many who would take one look at her and declare her a hell-bound sinner. Don't let it stop you following your own path; eventually she'll either learn some acceptance because you're her child and she loves you (enough at least to not bring it up--that's about where my family are), or she won't and you won't have a good adult child/parent relationship, which sucks but will be her choice, not yours.

[PrinceOfNothing]

Yeah,I knew I'd never be able to have a really good relationship with her when I started to grow up into my own person,you know that age,when you started realizing who you are and what you chose to believe in.

I am just glad I did not end up close minded like my mother and am more open minded like my father.
*shudders* I hate the idea of being so close minded..I can't even imagine..

Not as if I could have a great relationship with my dad either.He somewhat understands what I am going through,he is a beautiful,intelligent man.

But I don't think I can easily get over him now dating my ex. That is just a piece of weird I wont bother indulging.

I am eighteen, going to be a senior in highschool, and after I graduate I decided I am going to move out and live in an apartment by myself,without the influence of either my mom or my dad OR my ex.

I think that is my healthiest option.

[AlexTheSane]

I know lots of LGBTQ people who are christian, the two aren't necessarily at odds. Your mother definitely sounds like the wrong kind of christian, though. Getting out and away sounds like a very good idea. Best of luck with that!

[Ravin]

DIstance can definitely help. I can't imagine how my relationship with my parents might have disentegrated if I hadn't taken off for the Navy at 17. It could have been very bad if I'd been around while my parents' marriage finally disentigrated (they divorced when I was 20).

I actually have a great relationship with my mom now--she's genuinely nice to both my husband and girlfriend, and accepts that I'm going to be who I am, even if it makes no sense to her.

My dad is far more close-minded and frankly can be an ass. My younger sisters have both gone years without talking to him at all, and for me it tends to be a phone call on his birthday and Christmas (he's been known to forget MY birthday). If you don't come over to his house on a regular basis, he forgets you exist. He generally won't even drive 20 min. to have lunch with my sister, never mind severals states to see me or my other sister. This double standard extends to grandchildren, too. He's horridly right-wing conservative and seems to get more so the older he gets. So our relationship tends to be distant and I keep conversation to things we have in common, and he did at least re-marry someone of his own generation.

Get some distance and give it time. Things can be rough when you're in your teens and your parents are at that mid-life crisis stage. A lot of times it needs time and them to see you as an adult for things to get better. Some parents never do, but I think that's the exception rather than the rule.

[Dave]

I am just glad I did not end up close minded like my mother and am more open minded like my father.
*shudders* I hate the idea of being so close minded..I can't even imagine..

I hate to break it to you, but saying stuff like...

"*rubs temples* But why..oh WHY Christianity? I suppose because HER mom lives in freakin Biringham with that hardwired into her."

...doesn't exactly make you open-minded. I've heard the same thing from people who hate having gay children, blaming some outside force and wondering why, oh WHY, their child has to be a filthy homosexual.

[PrinceOfNothing]

Alright,I understand that HOW I just said that makes me seem closeminded,but what I meant was she is the type of Christian who is so closeminded that she cannot accept her daughter may want to choose a different path of beliefs.

She is closeminded because she spends no time expanding her knowledge of the world around her.

There are people where I live who are part of a Christian academy and will go to your house,on your property,knock on your door and ask if you have sinned.

They walk around on Sundays.

I understand some people care about others,wanting them to be saved,but I believe there must be a point where you draw the line. One of my bestfriends is 100% Christian and she is loving,caring and openminded person.She has NEVER pressured me into believing in God or any of that and still cares about me and hangs out with me all the time without feeling pity towards me.
I suppose I should edit this blog to say,my mother is a closeminded Christian lesbian.
It just breaks my heart a little that she denies that I would want to live my life as being anything other than Christian.