My birth name is Bianca, which is, I admit a pretty name for a girl. The trouble is, I'm not a girl.
I picked Rhys a couple of months ago, because (as a linguistics geek) I love the Welsh language and its culture, because synesthetically the name Rhys matches my hair color (I know, odd), and because it's short and easy to acclimate to. I feel like perhaps it isn't the perfect
name (I gravitate towards more old-fashioned names beginning with letters like R, M, and S; I considered Romulus/Rom for a while but it just sounded too weird...) but I really can't find any name that's perfect, and Rhys is good enough for now. Also, now that I've told most of my friends to call me that, I feel shy about telling them to call me something else if I find a name I absolutely love.
I combed through baby name sites for a while, but it took too long for impatient little me.
Now, though, that I'm learning more about myself, I feel like I'm just finding halfway points, like I'm naming aspects of myself rather than the real me, whoever that is. Bianca is the most feminine, properly religious (like my parents tell me I ought to be), and Rhys is shy, nerdy but with a sense of humor, vaguely male. Rhys is closer to the real me, but I don't know, it doesn't fit like a glove. I'm getting used to responding to it, though!