Gender: Uncertain

[saruchan28]

Hey... New here.
The vast and overwhelming majority of my (short, 18-year) life I've considered myself male... For the past four-five years, I've considered myself a homosexual male. And I have always been fairly androgynous in appearance, and I embraced that and sought to decrease my masculinity by shooting for feminine-androgyny...

But recently, I was introduced to the idea of agendered people, and it's made me start to think about my own gender identity. I've only experience very mild body dysphoria, though pretty much continuously over my teen years. I dislike the appearance of my genitalia, and absolutely detest that I've started growing appreciable facial and other secondary hair. I don't want to be a woman, not in the slightest, I dislike the appearance of breasts and they honestly just look like an uncomfortable hassle.

As well, I've always been somewhat asexual (meaning, I've never specifically desired sexual activity... I can enjoy it, but it's not necessary for a close relationship to me. Eh.) and all of this is coming together to make me question my gender identity. I just don't really know.

[shiofra]

Hiya, I think you'll find what you're in need of if ya look around here abit.

[omelu]

that's sort of how I ended up here (the "it's not that I want to be the opposite...." part), so hopefully this place will help you too!

I just came to a point in my life where I was just as sure I wasn't the "same" gender as I was sure I wasn't the "opposite" and so now I'm discovering the whole universe in, around, between, and nowhere near the two.

[saruchan28]

I'm starting to see all that inbetween stuff that I wasn't really aware of.

What I've been finding is that I've realized I'd be at least equally comfortable, if not moreso, to call myself agendered/neutrois. I know that if I figure myself out and I'm not psychologically male, I'd really like to get that... fixed, as it were. It's gonna take a lot of thinking, and that's about all that I've realized so far :/

[smischmal]

Salutations! If understanding is what you seek, you couldn't have come across a better place. I was in the same boat as you, genderwise, a while back. Everyone here is real helpful. Best of luck in figuring it all out.

[Catechin]

I think most nonbinary gendered people go through an awakening phase that makes so much sense to them that they are dumbfounded for some time (be it a moment or a long while) before better understanding themselves and their gender/lack there of. Many people here have had similar experiences, and I'm sure you can help find your answers within the depth of this forum, or some deep contemplation and honesty.

[not_quite_pie]

Sweet, four replies fromdifferent people and a lecture on the definition of 'asexual' hasn't started yet!

Welcome to the confusing world of having a practically unknown gender identity. And also the forum.