Questions again

[Edge]

Yes, more questions because I am full of them (sorry).
1. I apologize if this sounds offensive. It's not meant to be. I am actually wondering. Is it possible to feel male simply because one likes males and/or wants to be one? The reason I am asking is because I do like males and I do want to be male (albeit a "feminine" one). However, I'm still worried that I feel like one sometimes just because I'm telling myself I do because I want to.
2. I used to be a love addict. That went away once I realized that I wanted to be the person I wanted to date. (I mean the kind of person. There was no real person in mind.) That includes gender which ties in to question 1. I am also wondering... Have I discovered that the person I wanted all along was me? Or have I replaced an unhealthy habit with a new unhealthy habit? I hope it's the first one...
3. The last time I was sure about my gender, I saw myself as definitely female. At the time, I strongly thought female meant aggressive and powerful. That doesn't make any sense to me now because... well, technically it never made sense because males can be just as aggressive and I have always known that. I was just being dumb. If I felt so strongly about being female then, does that mean I am completely female? Do I feel differently now because I no longer believe that one gender is more aggressive or powerful than the other? Or do I feel differently now because some subconscious part of my brain held on to that and I've mellowed out?
4. Is anyone else fluid in other aspects? Like, for me, my outer personality changes. (I'm still me, but the personas I present are different parts of me since I can't show all of them at once.) Also, my sexuality is fluid in a way that is not connected to my gender changing. Does anyone else have trouble with people expecting one to have one aspect of their personality?
5. Is anyone else afraid of feeling one's birth gender because they're afraid that the other genders are a phase and they don't want them to be?

[MonochromeShine]

1. I apologize if this sounds offensive. It's not meant to be. I am actually wondering. Is it possible to feel male simply because one likes males and/or wants to be one? The reason I am asking is because I do like males and I do want to be male (albeit a "feminine" one). However, I'm still worried that I feel like one sometimes just because I'm telling myself I do because I want to.

I think uncertainty is part and parcel of alternate gender identities (and I'm including trans in this) but ucertaintly shouldn't invalidate identity. And I think that feeling male and wanting to be one are kind of related. Wanting to be male because you like males? I dunno. I mean, maybe? But it seems kind of convoluted to me. More likely it's gender and sexual identity crossing with biology and creating a mess.

2. I used to be a love addict. That went away once I realized that I wanted to be the person I wanted to date. (I mean the kind of person. There was no real person in mind.) That includes gender which ties in to question 1. I am also wondering... Have I discovered that the person I wanted all along was me? Or have I replaced an unhealthy habit with a new unhealthy habit? I hope it's the first one...

I think there are actually several people on this board who have said that they eventually had a realization that they didn't want to date the person they were with, they wanted to be them. I don't think that you've got an unhealthy habit. You've just got an identity that's different from your biology. -shrug- That's a problem for a lot of us

3. The last time I was sure about my gender, I saw myself as definitely female. At the time, I strongly thought female meant aggressive and powerful. That doesn't make any sense to me now because... well, technically it never made sense because males can be just as aggressive and I have always known that. I was just being dumb. If I felt so strongly about being female then, does that mean I am completely female? Do I feel differently now because I no longer believe that one gender is more aggressive or powerful than the other? Or do I feel differently now because some subconscious part of my brain held on to that and I've mellowed out?

Huh. Okay, I don't think I can be much help here, but I think what you're doing is driving yourself crazy trying to find the reason for why you felt/feel as you do. Why not just accept things as they are now, and go from there?

4. Is anyone else fluid in other aspects? Like, for me, my outer personality changes. (I'm still me, but the personas I present are different parts of me since I can't show all of them at once.) Also, my sexuality is fluid in a way that is not connected to my gender changing. Does anyone else have trouble with people expecting one to have one aspect of their personality?

DEAR GODS YES. -cough- Sorry. I, at least, am fluid in outer personality, although I think that my gender has settled pretty well. I once tried to name and sort out all of my personas as a kind of therapy for myself. There are like... ten or fifteen? I call them 'masks' or 'codes.' Essentially, they're situationally appropriate personas. Some of them are kind of terrifying. But yeah, I have all of those personality traits, I just don't tend to show them. Sexuality though, I can't help you with.

5. Is anyone else afraid of feeling one's birth gender because they're afraid that the other genders are a phase and they don't want them to be?

No. But I was once convinced that growing breasts was something other people did. I had adult characters who were female in my head, but who had no breasts. I just didn't have the concept that secondary sex characteristics were unavoidable. So birth sex was never really equated to personal gender for me.