"Insert penis A with condom C into vagina B"

[Estraven]

[Warning: NSFW. Crude content follows. Those under eighteen are advised, if applicable, to ask a parent or guardian before proceeding.]

Okay... Maybe it's just a phase. But for some reason, the more I think about it, the more I find the idea of *ahem* penetrative vaginal sex to be rather off-putting.

It's not that vaginas (or penises) don't appeal to me; there are people who I think I would, uh, "go down on" in about two seconds if they asked me. (Not that I've ever actually done that.) But the idea of sticking my set of genitals into someone else's and thrusting just seems weird. And so very crude. Humorous perhaps, but, at least on a cognitive level, not hot at all. Granted, I've never done it so the usual things about lack of experience apply; but if I got the chance to do it, I'm not actually sure I would, or sure that I'd really enjoy it. I feel like I'd either be really weirded out, or just laugh like a lunatic.

(Although strangely, if I actually had a vagina, I wouldn't mind being, um, penetrated. In fact that feels *cough* more "right" in my mind. Weird.)

Also I must say that the modern terminology of sex doesn't help. Guys talk about "pussy" like it's... well... a thing. As opposed to part of a person. It's really quite gross. When I hear people talking about sex (or see the headers of those f**king penis enlargement spams) it doesn't make me horny, it makes me feel like losing my lunch.

I can't be the only one like this, can I? There must even be some cis/hetero guys out there who feel this way. I mean how can "skewering her ham wallet" possibly be construed as sexy?

(I'm sorry... I have to stop before I throw up.)

[Shadow Dragon]

While it's not neccessarily off putting to me, I don't see the big deal of it. It probably does feel good for the people involved, but the thought of it or seeing it isn't very sexy. That part of the body just doesn't have an appeal to me. I've yet to see a vagina and think to myself, "Man, that's an awesome vagina," or penis in the case of a guy.

(Although strangely, if I actually had a vagina, I wouldn't mind being, um, penetrated. In fact that feels *cough* more "right" in my mind. Weird.)

Ha, same here. For some reason, despite being a bit more attracted to women, the idea of being on the recieving end is more enjoyable. Though in my case that could be due to being a submissive.

[Estraven]

While it's not neccessarily off putting to me, I don't find the big deal of it. It probably do feel good while doing it, but the thought of it or seeing it isn't very sexy. That part of the body just doesn't have an appeal to me. I've yet to see a vagina and think to myself, "Man, that's an awesome vagina," or penis in the case of a guy.

I doubt that most people think that way. Well, I hope not, anyway. But yeah, that probably is part of it.

(Although strangely, if I actually had a vagina, I wouldn't mind being, um, penetrated. In fact that feels *cough* more "right" in my mind. Weird.)

Ha, same here. For some reason, despite being a bit more attracted to women, the idea of being on the recieving end is more enjoyable. Though in my case that could be due to being a submissive.

I am very submissive. (Though not in the S&M sense obviously.) So maybe that's it.

[AlexTheSane]

I know right? It's all so...weird and strange. It doesn't seem like anything that would get the hype it does, but people seem to like it so it must have some appeal. I identify as asexual (largely) not because of an "ew" reaction but more of an "um...why?" reaction.

As for being penetrated myself, I go back and forth on that one.

[Kass-ID]

For me sex = yay yay yay!!! Much much fun.

[Ryles]

Sex involving internal girl-bits is pretty much impossible to me. I'm okay with them when they aren't making themselves readily known (by bleeding is the main one) and I really don't get any pleasure whatsoever about stuff getting put in there. Even if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't feel good and it's prone to make me have a major dysphoria attack. I'm pretty sure if I were with a female-bodied person I couldn't even consider touching them down there because it'd just be a reminder of what I have, even if it's on someone else.


So, I'm a bit biased. I'm also asexual, so in general not really getting the whole "sex" thing.

[adfhfbrwrew12]

For me sex = yay yay yay!!! Much much fun.

Indeed. I follow these sentiments.

[Befuddled]

I can relate to yourself. I've had sex with a female before, but for the most part, it's like I feel too pressured or something. On another note, the only time I feel like I'm in the wrong body is sexually. Do you think that could be a reason for transitioning? I've been questioning my sexuality for a very long time, and have only recently started to accept that I might, or probably am gay. Knowing this, I've little by little been talking to a gay friend (I use the term loosely, sadly, lately it only seems like he talks to me at all to try and get in my pants, conversations leading to sex often) of mine, trying to be more comfortable with who I am. I've always felt different since I was old enough to remember, I'm still trying to figure out what that difference is... As a child, I remember playing with girls almost exclusively early on, when I learned about sexuality, sex etc. I felt somewhat torn away after that. I didn't really understand societies way, even though I've desperately tried to be a 'normal' boy. I'm so confused...

[Estraven]

I can relate to yourself. I've had sex with a female before, but for the most part, it's like I feel too pressured or something. On another note, the only time I feel like I'm in the wrong body is sexually. Do you think that could be a reason for transitioning?

Maybe... Depends on how much it impacts you. I'm kind of pondering that question myself.

(Not to be too probing, but, haveyou ever had sex with a man? If that felt more natural then maybe it's a matter of orientation rather than gender.)

I've been questioning my sexuality for a very long time, and have only recently started to accept that I might, or probably am gay. Knowing this, I've little by little been talking to a gay friend (I use the term loosely, sadly, lately it only seems like he talks to me at all to try and get in my pants, conversations leading to sex often) of mine, trying to be more comfortable with who I am. I've always felt different since I was old enough to remember, I'm still trying to figure out what that difference is...

Bit of a derail but... um... maybe you should keep that "friend" at arm's length. If all he seems interested in is getting in your pants, he will probably be an even worse lover than he is a friend.

Anyway, suddenly realizing that one is gay isn't exactly abnormal... That happened to me with my bisexuality. Gods only know how, seeing as I'd been thinking of certain guys as attractive since I was in my early teens, but yeah, it took me a while to figure it out.

(And I'm still trying to get it all figured out actually. So take what I say with a grain of salt. )

As a child, I remember playing with girls almost exclusively early on, when I learned about sexuality, sex etc. I felt somewhat torn away after that. I didn't really understand societies way, even though I've desperately tried to be a 'normal' boy. I'm so confused...

Well, I'm not sure what that says about you... But whoever you are and whatever your gender is, you're welcome here.

[Shadow Dragon]

Anyway, suddenly realizing that one is gay isn't exactly abnormal... That happened to me with my bisexuality. Gods only know how, seeing as I'd been thinking of certain guys as attractive since I was in my early teens, but yeah, it took me a while to figure it out.

Ha, same here. Though I think on some level I knew it for a long time but didn't consciously admit it until I was like twenty.

[Estraven]

That describes my case *exactly*.

[Befuddled]

I can relate to yourself. I've had sex with a female before, but for the most part, it's like I feel too pressured or something. On another note, the only time I feel like I'm in the wrong body is sexually. Do you think that could be a reason for transitioning?

Maybe... Depends on how much it impacts you. I'm kind of pondering that question myself.

(Not to be too probing, but, haveyou ever had sex with a man? If that felt more natural then maybe it's a matter of orientation rather than gender.)

-Totally cool. I haven't... yet -I've been doing a lot of research lately, I think I fall more into a fetish category. Possibly more accurate, a transgenderist I'm alright with being attracted to males, but there's still something missing/not right. I would consider myself androgynous, my parents would be the first to attest to my being a girlish (or recently my mother has put it so politely, a pussy) child. I didn't get pushed around as a kid a whole lot though, everyone was afraid because I knew karate. Back to, I've had fantasies where I'm the girl, sometimes, even unknowingly to the partner. Well, I'll end this edit short. My thoughts are pretty scattered right now anyway.

I've been questioning my sexuality for a very long time, and have only recently started to accept that I might, or probably am gay. Knowing this, I've little by little been talking to a gay friend (I use the term loosely, sadly, lately it only seems like he talks to me at all to try and get in my pants, conversations leading to sex often) of mine, trying to be more comfortable with who I am. I've always felt different since I was old enough to remember, I'm still trying to figure out what that difference is...

Bit of a derail but... um... maybe you should keep that "friend" at arm's length. If all he seems interested in is getting in your pants, he will probably be an even worse lover than he is a friend.

-Took me a little while, but I realized that. He one of those types that can't ever be alone anyway (I can't stand that in men or women, whether I not I'd like to date them)

Anyway, suddenly realizing that one is gay isn't exactly abnormal... That happened to me with my bisexuality. Gods only know how, seeing as I'd been thinking of certain guys as attractive since I was in my early teens, but yeah, it took me a while to figure it out.

(And I'm still trying to get it all figured out actually. So take what I say with a grain of salt. )

As a child, I remember playing with girls almost exclusively early on, when I learned about sexuality, sex etc. I felt somewhat torn away after that. I didn't really understand societies way, even though I've desperately tried to be a 'normal' boy. I'm so confused...

Well, I'm not sure what that says about you... But whoever you are and whatever your gender is, you're welcome here.

Thanks!!

[nome]

I haven't had sex since labeling myself as genderqueer. It's like, I always have been, just didn't have words or an understanding of what was up. But. Ya. I kinda wonder what it'll be like. I'm a little apprehensive but no pressure, so whatevs. My partner is kinda amazing so I'm sure he'll be chill with whatever I'm comfortable with. But I can't stand most sex for myself. It's not pleasurable and usually just makes me feel like shit.

[Kass-ID]

I'm taking a graduate class on human sexuality right now and I've discovered that it is one of the most insane complex things ever. And what we typically think of as sex " penis A condom C and vagina B" isn't necessarily the end all be all of the process. There are many many more ways of having sex than that.

[AlexTheSane]

I'm taking a graduate class on human sexuality right now and I've discovered that it is one of the most insane complex things ever. And what we typically think of as sex " penis A condom C and vagina B" isn't necessarily the end all be all of the process. There are many many more ways of having sex than that.

Considering how many queer people are on this board, I feel like this is an obvious statement.

[Estraven]

Considering how many queer people are on this board, I feel like this is an obvious statement.

Aye... seconded.

[Kass-ID]

What I'm getting at is that putting a penis into a thing (mouth, vagina, anus, otherwise) or a thing (toy, penis, fingers, hand) into an orifice aren't the only ways to have sex. IE sex isn't a purely physical act.

[adfhfbrwrew12]

What I'm getting at is that putting a penis into a thing (mouth, vagina, anus, otherwise) or a thing (toy, penis, fingers, hand) into an orifice aren't the only ways to have sex. IE sex isn't a purely physical act.

Aye, many agreements here.

[Ryles]

Everyone has different views of sex, and I think they should all be respected by everyone. Different people have different needs and likes- so for some people "penis into vagina" is the only way they can have sex. They shouldn't assume that's the only way anyone can have sex, but there's nothing wrong with (when you're involved in the act) only seeing it as sex when it fits into your view.

[adfhfbrwrew12]

I've actually had the same argument with many people due to my sexual preferences and lifestyle, which is not mainstream- to be as tasteful and blunt as possible, I like S&M, which is misunderstood by many, many people. I've been told that my sexual preferences and desires are wrong if not evil, and that they're not really sex but perversion, but if two consenting adults are wanting to do it, then why can't they? It is a very intimate thing that brings a level of closeness and trust that I enjoy.

On the other hand, for instance, I don't like anal sex if the woman is receiving; I only like vaginal when it comes to things in that area of the body. But that doesn't mean I don't think anal sex is unpleasurable to all girls, nor do I think it is any less legitimate sex than vaginal sex just because I personally don't like it. And I'm not going to say it's wrong or trashy or whatever for a girl to like or even prefer to be penetrated anally. It's just a preference and it's no less legitimate than mine.

There's also plenty of gay men- I even know one- who don't like anal sex and will not give or receive it. They prefer digital sex, or oral sex, or frotting, or even just petting, which most people see are foreplay rather than sex. For some people, though, foreplay IS the sex.