We Need A Mediator

[Sougishiki]

Here's the deal: It might sound stupid but we cannot agree on wether or not to cut our hair short. It's very long right now, almost to our body's waist. Now, this is much like Gabriel's hair, and almost opposite of mine. Mine is only six to eight inches long and I really want to cut the body's hair to match mine. Gabriel doesn't want to. Now, I really love the guy but we've had his hairstyle for about four years now. It's my turn. -Astor

Ok, I like our hair. Yes, it's in my style, but if we come to class one day with our hair sheared off, there will be questions I don't want to answer. Plus, the body's hair is naturally slightly curly. Right now the weight of it keeps it straight, if we cut it, it'll probably just curl up again. My hair, and Astor's is dead straight. Neither of us want curly hair, but we don't have time to straighten it everyday. -Gabriel

[Postmodern Macro]

Here's the deal: It might sound stupid but we cannot agree on wether or not to cut our hair short. It's very long right now, almost to our body's waist. Now, this is much like Gabriel's hair, and almost opposite of mine. Mine is only six to eight inches long and I really want to cut the body's hair to match mine. Gabriel doesn't want to. Now, I really love the guy but we've had his hairstyle for about four years now. It's my turn. -Astor

Ok, I like our hair. Yes, it's in my style, but if we come to class one day with our hair sheared off, there will be questions I don't want to answer. Plus, the body's hair is naturally slightly curly. Right now the weight of it keeps it straight, if we cut it, it'll probably just curl up again. My hair, and Astor's is dead straight. Neither of us want curly hair, but we don't have time to straighten it everyday. -Gabriel

What do you mean "questions"? Like OMG WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR SO SHORT?! Tell 'em you're donating it. C:

And what about a compromise? Rather than cutting it STUPIDshort, try maybe to between the shoulderblades.

[EJA]

You don't have to straighten it every day - there are special processes where you go there once every few months and they do...something (I really don't know much about it, but a lot of asian people get it done, apparently?), and it stays straight the whole time in between. Pretty damaging to the hair, but hey, it grows back.

[Sougishiki]

We really don't want to damage our hair though. We just want something easy to take care of that's still pleasent to look at. And that we can both agree on.

[EJA]

Ask a hairstylist. you could phrase it like this:

"Part of my really wants X, but part of me also really wants Y. But I still like how it's straight and if I cut it shorter, it'll curl, which I don't want, and I don't want to worry about straightening it every day. What do you suggest?"

[Sougishiki]

That's probably the best idea. We'll probably argue about it until April, which is the earliest we can commit to anything. I guess we wanted to see if anyone here could help us put an end to it. -Gabriel

[Kareil]

The problem of even numbers of people!

I've got more people who prefer it long to short (and at least one female horrified at the thought of anyone ever mistaking her for a guy, despite the fact that all the guys have to live with pretty much everyone thinking they're girls, but she's louder), here, so it's always been medium to long. Though the human guys have been nagging me for a while now about cutting it, but it's two against four of those that reported in (five if you assume Fiona's vote from looking at her), so it's a hard sell. I went from as long as I've ever had it (about waist length, also) to around the bottom of my shoulderblades, and as it's always pulled back anyways, nobody really noticed noticed - long is long, it seems, to most people. Though that might have also had something to do with the fact that bleaching it at the same time was more noticeable...

If the weight of yours makes it "straight" as-is, rather than something more like a wild explosion of straight-poof if you brush it or stringy wavelets that droop into pretty much nothing by lunch, then you've got better to work with than I do. Mine's roughly the average of everyone's hair put together, which includes some with curly, some with straight, and some with black hair, so it never makes anyone happy! Though I guess it also means it irritates everyone equally. (And the mess of products in the bathroom is unbelievable...)

There's products to help keep it tame without a flatiron if you don't need it absolutely straight and your hair is better behaved than mine, it should work. At least if it's not too humid. I've heard the fancy straightening procedures are rather toxic to your lungs, and also pretty expensive, so we wrote off that one, over here. You might want to go for halfway between everyone's preferences and then see if it's enough length to keep it under control (with or without whatever products you feel like trying, if necessary), for now, and if you're finding it behaves ok, maybe after you've had it like that for a while, Gabriel will get used to it and realize that it *is* fair to let Astor have a turn, and you can try it a bit shorter later?

[Sougishiki]

Thank you Kareil. That's such a helpful answer. As is, we live in Washington, US, so it's pretty humid with all the rain we get. I think I can get Gabriel to let me cut it to just above our shoulders, maybe. And yeah, even numbers are annoying, especially just the two of us. Either we agree and all's good, or we disagree and if we can't decide, we're kind of screwed. Thus, mediation. -Astor

[Kareil]

Oh. You should have me visit, then. The three times I've been there, it's been unusually dry and sunny! (it seemed nice enough to me, but the locals said the weather wasn't typical) Of course, in the winter, I'd probably bring giant snowstorms, instead... If it curls too much, the residents of the curly hair board I've visited seem to have lots of recommendations for products for various levels of humidity.

With more people, you don't always get the 50/50 split, but everyone does like to throw in their opinion, and some people may have more control than others. I find it's easier to reach mine to dye it strange colors when it's long.
("But you could just dye everywhere if it were shorter, like using shampoo.")
("What would *you* know about shampoo?")
("Keep bleaching it and it'll fall off on its own anyways...")
Notice that not one of them ever volunteers to lend an extra *hand* when I'd need it!

[Sougishiki]

Heh. Wheatherwise, it depends a lot on which side of the mountains you're on. West(us) rains all the time. East is apparently dry and arid. I don't go there. It's like Mars. And the snow stopped this morning. Last week no one left home and now all my college classes are trying to catch up. Kind of funny.
Hairwise, where is this board you speak of? I think we should visit. And I have officially gotten Gabriel's written surrender. (And he's being insufferable about it. -Gabriel)
Peoplewise, I can see how that'd be a problem. You have my pity. -Astor

[Kareil]

West, actually, is what surprised me. Seattle and the surrounding area, and an island a bit further west ("It's not Forks, but you can see it from here!"), and it wasn't just an odd dry day I noticed or anything, they actually had signs up saying don't waste water by watering your lawn both times I was there for long enough to notice much of the area. Another time was just stopping through on the way to (and from) the eastern side of the state and I think there may have been a bit of rain one evening and that was it. Of course, none once you crossed the mountains, but I expected that. Though not the giant dust devils...you see so much *weird stuff* driving across the US - even just large expanses of flat land seems strange, to me! I'm used to hills and lakes and such.

Here's the board - http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/ - they tend to be more into working with your curls rather than abusing them straight constantly, but there's lots of stuff about products and humidity and what works best for different hair types, and they won't run you out of town on a rail if you do straighten it or use stuff with silicones or anything like that!

[Sougishiki]

Thanks for the link Kariel. And I remember that drought you were here for. So strange to see no rain! -Astor

[Kareil]

What year? I've been there in two dry spells...want another?

Adriel was going to reply to this days ago, but never got around to it...slackers, the lot of them, always leaving me to do everything! Anyhow, we've been trying out the Avon Lotus Shield frizz control stuff here lately, and it seems to work pretty well, so I thought I'd mention it as it's much cheaper than my other favorite products, the Living Proof No Frizz line, you might find either of them helpful.

I haven't had the chance to test out the Lotus Shield by spending a few hours outside in wind and fog, as it's rare that when we get that weather here, I'll want to go out in it, but it was pretty humid recently and it held up well. The No Frizz stuff didn't even hold up perfectly under the fog and wind...it's rather extreme conditions, for hair, though I'd say it did far better than my hair would have without it!

[Sougishiki]

Ooh, we'll have to try those soon. I don't remember what year the drought was, my memory fails horribly at dates. I barely remember holidays. It's Gabriel's job. If you could give us a dry spell, come on up! Maybe we'll finally see the sun!

[NightBlooming]

If you're looking for a drought, It would be nice if you would take some of ours. Some rain in return would be awesome.
(Rain, I'm not being flippant, just a joke. We <3 you.)

[Sougishiki]

Deal! You can have our floods and hail too! -Astor

[NightBlooming]

Deal! You can have our floods and hail too! -Astor

We got those already, so sure!

[Hyacinthe]

Here's the deal: It might sound stupid but we cannot agree on wether or not to cut our hair short. It's very long right now, almost to our body's waist. Now, this is much like Gabriel's hair, and almost opposite of mine. Mine is only six to eight inches long and I really want to cut the body's hair to match mine. Gabriel doesn't want to. Now, I really love the guy but we've had his hairstyle for about four years now. It's my turn. -Astor

Ok, I like our hair. Yes, it's in my style, but if we come to class one day with our hair sheared off, there will be questions I don't want to answer. Plus, the body's hair is naturally slightly curly. Right now the weight of it keeps it straight, if we cut it, it'll probably just curl up again. My hair, and Astor's is dead straight. Neither of us want curly hair, but we don't have time to straighten it everyday. -Gabriel

I'm a part of a plural system, though this is just my username... We can't offer any advice, beyond saying to compromise if possible (which doesn't always work)... But we have this problem in reverse. Three quarters of the system want the hair short, like half an inch short because it's thick and we shed like a dog.

A couple of other people and I wouldn't mind you know...actual hair. Like longer than our shoulder-blades. But the people who want short hair kind of keep winning, so I can feel the annoyance trying to mediate such a thing can be.

I wish you guys luck!

[Sougishiki]

Thanks Hyacinthe! I managed to get him to back down, I win. Hee. In like half a month I get to cut our hair. It rocks. -Astor