by Kareil » Sun Mar 06, 2011 11:38 pm
I was filing myself under trigendered, until I took a headcount and came up with more than one for some genders, and at least one non-binary, so we may be a bit more fragmented here than those bi/tri/multigendered people that consider themselves singlet, for whatever they consider singlet.
20 Questions - For those who identity as Bigender.
1. At what age did you become aware that you were more than one in your gender identification?
Within the last year, ie: when I found out that it was possible, not just being indecisive. Though I had floated around in the androgyne-FTM region on occasional forays onto gender boards in the last couple years, but for the most part not thinking much about it. I think the idea of gender not matching sex applying to *us* likely was noticed by someone other than me, one of the guys poking around on his own from time to time, and then eventually it was brought to my attention as more than a fleeting thought but as "Um, you know, this is actually kinda more relevant than you think, here".
2. Are you a natal male, a natal female, or were you born Intersex?
Born with a female body. Still have it.
3. Do you use a male, female and unisex name? If so how do you usually introduce yourself to others?
I introduce myself to others in person with the female name given to the body by my parents, as it's what's on my ID. My family still uses a unisex nickname I don't much like and never have, though I've been resisting it less now because insisting on a female name when we're mostly male just seems kinda weird. Other names are generally just used internally, and sometimes online when people know to expect more than one, but usually online it's just usernames.
4. Have you ever, or do you currently maintain more than one wardrobe - one for each gender?
Yes. This is what prompted me to do the headcount - the fact that clothes were the most obvious symptom of my taking up far too much space with stuff for one person that isn't a huge shopping fiend or a hoarder ("But it's all *different!") and spends most of the time wearing a uniform at work anyhow.
5. Is your mental gender male, female or other most of the time, or are you each gender an equal amount of time?
Predominately male-to-genderless, female about 20-30% of the time, maybe? There is more variation in gender expression among the guys than the girls. "I" with no qualifiers generally resides, if we have a scale putting male at 100 and female at 0, probably somewhere around the 62% mark, mentally.
6. With what frequency does your mental gender change? (hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, every few years)
I could say it was solid as "girl" my entire childhood, but I think my concept of "girl" was a little warped - I just liked to have long hair, and used being a girl and not wanting to be mistaken for a boy as ammo in hair wars with my parents. No matter what I said I was, I still wasn't going to be able to pee standing up, and I'd read the medical books to know that, and girls can wear dresses should they want to (and occasionally I didn't mind) but boys pretty much don't, ever, so insisting on being a girl just gave me more choices, and I knew it was biologically correct. But I had no concept of gender beyond what's encompassed by biological sex and very basic general fashion trends, so I have no idea how far to either side I could have swung before I thought anything was "off".
Things change by who feels like hanging out in front at the moment, usually caused by external things, so if I'm doing something that one of the girls likes, or hanging around with other women and it's a "girl talk" sort of thing, they'll come up and play and we can feel pretty girly for a while. Or someone else can come up for whatever reason and we'll feel like the lone guy in a group of girls and just not get *any* of them.
7. Have you ever thought of yourself as having two or more separate personalities, a male persona, a female persona and a non-binary persona?
Yes, and then I realized I hadn't finished counting yet, and went "eeep!". There's lots of pretty unisex stuff, but I can quite often tell even among that who stuff belongs to.
8. Do you have conscious control over your gender changes, or does your gender change entirely on its own?
I can control it to a smallish extent by doing something I know someone of a particular gender likes, to try and bring them up, but it tends to change on its own.
9. Do you enjoy changing from one gender to another gender, or is it an annoyance to you?
It became an annoyance when I realized that I just wasn't going to become happy with my body, and that I have no clue how I'll ever downsize my closet far enough.
10. How long do you remain in each gender mentally? (minutes at a time, hours, days, weeks, months at a time)
See 6. above.
11. How often do you dress as the opposite natal sex? (daily, every few days, every few weeks, every few months)
Most casual guys' clothing is pretty non-gendered, merely less form-fitting and in a more limited range of colours than women's, so it's only when we have to "dress nice" it becomes an issue and there's really any sort of "opposite". We generally try to look "female" for that, unless we're getting frustrated with the wardrobe and think it's somewhere that people won't think a women wearing a shirt and tie is particularly unusual. And with the casual clothes, girl's jeans and a guy's polo are reasonably likely to end up worn together, and it's anyone's guess whether that'll be worn with a bra or a binder. One of the guys likes clothes so baggy he probably hasn't noticed the body *has* more in the chest than a normal guy, and a couple of the girls like being flatter, for different reasons.
12. How long do you continuously dress as the opposite natal sex? (hours, days, weeks, months, or years at a time)
Hours. Tend to change into pyjamas at night, no telling who might pick the clothes the next day. Have gone months when necessary wearing skirts, we just wear bike shorts underneath all the time in case someone's not too careful sitting down. The guys get over feeling weird rather quickly when pretty much *everyone* around them with a female body is similarly clothed, and they were long skirts anyways so covered a fair bit. I've never had a similar experience that required clearly male clothes for any length of time.
13. Does a change of clothing cause a change gender, or does a change in gender cause you to change clothing?
Can be either, really. If something is particularly strongly linked to somebody, it can bring them out, but usually people pick their own clothes, often as a group effort. A shift can cause someone to just decide "Whoa, not leaving the house like *that*, buddy!" when they see what ended up being put on. The guys may have been part of the cause of my not liking skirts and dresses all along.
14. In what ways has your body been altered to reflect your Bigender Identity?
It has not been, and hangs around in the androgynous-female (or just ugly-female) section for the time being. The guys either don't mind long hair, or actually prefer it themselves, so they don't fight with the girls on that. (though admittedly one is getting a bit bored with it *this* long, at the moment)
15. Have you ever seen, would you be interested in seeing, or are you currently seeing a gender therapist?
I don't want to admit to having such whacked out thoughts to anyone in person, much as it could be a good idea, if I found the right one.
16. Have you ever had an interest in HRT or SRS, and what interest do you currently have for HRT or SRS?
Yes, but current results from SRS are still a little lacking, for what you have to go through to get it. If I could magically have male equipment, functional as if I'd been born with them, I'd take that, thanks. Top surgery is significantly more likely for me than bottom, but it may or may not happen. The idea of that had been brought to my attention a few years back by a headmate that I didn't yet think to exist, considered briefly somewhere along the lines of "Yes, yes, I think of a lot of things, but I'll keep that in mind should there ever be an equipment failure with the default set", and filed for future reference as "Plan B". I just would like less scarring than tends to happen before I actively seek it if there's no malfunction or genetic risk found. I also wouldn't mind some low dose male hormones to make me physically more towards the middle (namely, the voice).
17. How did you come to the conclusion that you are a Bigendered individual and not a Transsexual individual?
Because the hatred for the female body is not completely unanimous, existing in it is not killing me, some parts just wouldn't mind a prettier female body (though they're definitely in the minority).
18. How did you come to the conclusion that you are a Bigendered individual and not a Crossdresser individual?
Because it's wearing clearly-female clothes, skirts and dresses, that feels like crossdressing, despite having a female body? And I just don't have a female enough brain to consider myself "female" when I'm allowed other options to choose from that feel far more appropriate.
19. Were most of your 'opposite' gender behaviours naturally occurring, or were most of the behaviours learned?
As none of the same-gender behaviours anyone tried to teach me seemed to sink in, I suspect the opposite-gender ones were also natural, and nobody could really teach me anything. Though anything "girl" probably also qualifies as just plain "manners", and maybe that's what I fail at naturally, I suppose I may have picked up other things had anyone put more of an effort into making me fit a stereotype.
20. If you could you could choose any physiological sex or physical form, what would you choose for your body?
Genderless looks, such that one could go either way and pass, with male equipment for convenience.
One more question for fifty bonus points
Bigender individuals have the unique and astounding ability to change from one binary gender to the other.
So, please tell us.... What is the real difference between being a boy and being a girl?
Standing to pee and not getting funny looks while wearing dresses?
The communication between people, while they can know what the others know, is not so good that one can actually *feel* what it's like to be anyone else, and gender is such a subjective thing that I'm not sure I could force a boy and a girl to sit down together and compare notes and come up with one cohesive answer for you. So on this, we may split off from othere bi/tri-gendered people.
Hello fellow fluid trigender person!
) 
) . Depending on perspective, bi-gender is about as close as anything I could use to despcribe myself, I guess. 
