Mom doesn't like knowing I want to be a man either

[Zapdos]

Well....retarded me, I tried to tell my mom I was transgender and that I really do not fit into the female gender role. Well she took the "not fitting into female role" well but when she thought that I wanted to be a man she said "only lesbians are the ones who want to be men" and I tried to say no it's not but she would only say yeah it is. WHY ARE MY PARENTS STILL LIVING IN THE 1950'S!!? It doesn't work that way anymore. There can be straight trans men and women and they're not ALWAYS gay. Well, my mom isn't to hot on the idea of my transgenderism...so I mostly just tried to say "I'm androgyne or genderless" but in fact I truely am trans but...I just told her that so she'd be happy with that. I slipped up one day and I was trying to tell her how I don't like being treated as a girl or woman and I wanted to be treated like a guy by society. All she said was that people won't respect you as much if they treat you like a guy and they won't have manners and whatnot. Gee....being a guy on the inside, that wouldn't bother me that much would it if I'm around fellow guys? I don't know....that's my coming out story. No one really knows I'm transgender (that is in my family they don't know) and even my online friends thta I talk to they still treat me like a girl and still call me by my girl name.....it royally sucks..they still treat me femenine and whatnot..the only time I can be trans is usually by myself and telling people online that I'm trans and when I dress in my goth fashion I feel like I'm truely the male side of myself (even if I don't look truely male I at least look androgynous which is better than looking femenine) That's my coming out story....Just thought I'd share it. People know me as Apollo for my transname (the people who can somewhat treat me trans know me by this name) so I might stick with thta name I don't know I've grown used to it so I may stick with it....Just thought I'd add that along with this post

[Liv]

Well done trying to tell her. That's not easy. Unfortunately a lot of people aren't very educated about transgender so they might just think you are really saying you are gay (which they have heard more about). Though if you mean you like guys and you end up definitely identifying as a transman, of course you might actually be gay..
Hope you get more chances to express yourself as you want and for people to see you how you see yourself

[Zapdos]

Well my mom would see me identified as straight if I were attracted to men and I was also a transmen...my parents would probably laugh at how I would be identified as a "gay man" because in their eyes you can only be "gay" if you're attracted to people with the same sex parts as yourself. So they'd probably see me as straight still..

[Elwood]

Well, I don't ask my PARENTS to treat me like a guy because I don't expect them to adjust so suddenly like that. But when transition starts for me, I will request it. There is no way I could never require it. It's like a black person saying everyone should like them, the bigots included. I can't make everyone see me as male, even if I AM physically male, because I was born female.

I told my mom that I identify as a gay man and it only offended her. I'm surprised she didn't scoff at it.

[Zapdos]

I don't expect my parents to treat me any different either. A lot of people won't treat me as male. When I told my mom how I wanted to be treated like a guy, she said I should hear about what guys talk about with fellow guys when they're not around girls. They talk about dirty sex, their sex lives, and all of that shitty stuff. I said "Wait a friggin minute, not all guys are 100% obsessed with sex" (mind you I'm talking about guys who were born guys not transguys) But that's what she said they talk about. I know some pigs do, but not ALL do......right? My mom makes doubt run through me when it comes to the subject of "guys think about sex ALL the time" they don't think about it all the time do they? SHIT I hate it when people try to say men are pigs and only dwell on sex. Anyway, I trailed off subject here. I'll probably never be seen by anyone as a "male" but probably more of a "girl in denial" or whatever.....I hate it...I want someone to at least see me as somewhat male....it sucks

[Elwood]

Yeah, I talk about dirty sex too. And it's funny, because the girls don't want to talk about it and the guys are weirded out if they know I'm a girl.

I'd say every guy I've ever known likes to talk dirty with other guys. What confuses me is that they aren't gay. I feel like they're leading me on (as a guy, I pass pretty well so a lot of people are convinced that I'm a guy).

[Liv]

I know plenty of men who don't talk about sex all the time! It is a complete cliché to say men just think about sex constantly. I think some people of both sexes are more sex obsessed than others, surely we don;t have to make huge generalisations about a whole sex/gender here do we? I don;t really have any male friends or relatives who talk about sex a lot, but maybe I just don;t really know people of that macho "jock" sort. Still, it's not exactly a crime for people to do that if they like to, it could just get a bit irritating if it's not your thing

[Wesley_Lexi]

Somebody mention sex? Are we talking about sex? No? We should. We should talk about sex.

lol, j/k, sorry, had to make a joke (lame as it may be)

[Elwood]

Somebody mention sex? Are we talking about sex? No? We should. We should talk about sex.

lol, j/k, sorry, had to make a joke (lame as it may be)

fap fap fap? :O

It admit it. When my dysphoria is at bay, I'm a horndog.

[Zapdos]

I don't mind talking about sex stuff if there's no harm meant to it. I like making sex jokes alot (though they're probably lame) I'm not a normal sexual person I'm borderline asexual but I still make sex jokes and have the usual horny urges (sorry for the TMI) but the way my mom made it sound is as if they talk about dirty sex that's meant for harm. Now that I think of it, I like talking about sex too but I don't mean harm out of it...I usually only talk about it either to educate myself or to make jokes about it and whatnot. People have given me that sign of "you talk about sex to much" but thy haven't ever said it before but I think people have given me that hidden message before.....which makes me feel more guyish

[Liv]

Well the ones I know don't talk about being sexually violent to women. So I should chill out about it. It's almost like the rant that "all men are really rapists"that some people like to say

[RilianXI]

I don't think the people who already know you will change how they treat you.
Only new people will treat you differently, if you "pass".

[Gwydion]

If guys are sitting around talking about sexual violence? That means they are scum and you should get better friends. in my experience, there is quite a bit of sex talk, but not exclusively and not violent if you are hanging out with decent folk.

[Zapdos]

To me, men who would talk about violent sex towards women are scum but the impression I've been under for years has been that '"all dudes have sex on their minds and they talk about it all the time" making it sound like they don't have anything else on their mind....I think a lot of people are under that impression. Sex jokes or sex talks aren't all that bad if they're harmless but it's just the way my mom put it was as if men sit around and chat with their buddies about how they'd like to violently screw everything in sight. She said she was sorry afterwards for saying that because she saw how firey pissed I was and said that not all guys are like that...all I could scream inside my head was 'I SURE AS HELL HOPE THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT" Gladly, I don't have any guy friends who sit around and talk that way. At least they don't talk about it with "me"

[RilianXI]

It's like Dr Raymond Stantz said
you'll never be like those who were raised as males
because you were raised as a female.
Which *I* think is a good thing. It means you will be more complete.

[Rebis]

If guys are sitting around talking about sexual violence? That means they are scum and you should get better friends. in my experience, there is quite a bit of sex talk, but not exclusively and not violent if you are hanging out with decent folk.

I agree.

Be careful. Some people really are harmless, but there are some who may be trying to gauge your reaction or your resistance to an idea.

Always be careful.

There are some men who talk violently about sex. NOT ALL OF THEM, of course, but there have been times when I was hanging out with some men and one or more would talk about doing disgusting things to people we all knew. I have met some guys who will say really violent comments concerning women we know. Usually, it's because they feel angry or outwitted by the woman. It's like being with a potential rapist who is trying to psyche themselves into something.

Other men are just harmless pigs. And yet others are mild and are very nice.

I'm a stinky biomale who has been in the military and who has met a lot of people from all walks of life. That's where my experience with this comes from.



Rebis

[Silverblue]

Since the whole 'people won't treat you with respect if they see you as male' thing is INSANE anyway, I would try not to pay it too much attention. That idea seems to come from a world where women do not get catcalled every week, threatened if they don't conform to some idea of feminine, teased if they're not the right shape and size...I mean, honestly, if there is a magical place where women always get treated with respect, I'm pretty sure most women would have moved there by now. Maybe she's never been attacked on the street by a large number of males attempting rape? Because _I_ have. Besides, it's another infantilising thing - the whole 'women are delicate flowers who must not have sex and men are animals who can't help it' thing which is used to excuse so much horrible violence and denigrates both sexes.

Parents find it so hard to give up ideas, unfortunately. Maybe they'll come around eventually? If she did say sorry afterwards, that's quite good - it shows she cares about your feelings, even if she thinks you are wrong. That means there's hope, I think!

[Elwood]

It's like Dr Raymond Stantz said
you'll never be like those who were raised as males
because you were raised as a female.
Which *I* think is a good thing. It means you will be more complete.

At least I got something right.

[RilianXI]

It's like Dr Raymond Stantz said
you'll never be like those who were raised as males
because you were raised as a female.
Which *I* think is a good thing. It means you will be more complete.

At least I got something right.

Congratulations.