Clothing...

[shedtroll]

This is for those who haven't come out to their parents...

Have you crossdressed from your birth sex (IE: if you were born a guy, have you worn female clothing) Before coming out to your parentals? If so, how did you get em'?

[RilianXI]

I've been insisting on male-marketed clothing for years.
These days, my mom's incredulous when I ask for something that is female-marketed. She thinks I won't like it, even though I say I do, just like she used to do when I asked for male-marketed things (like video games and skateboards).

[shedtroll]

I've been insisting on male-marketed clothing for years.
These days, my mom's incredulous when I ask for something that is female-marketed. She thinks I won't like it, even though I say I do, just like she used to do when I asked for male-marketed things (like video games and skateboards).

Thing is, I've been born male, so I have a problem that I can't get female clothing without my parent asking questions....

[Wesley_Lexi]

Yeah, we've crossdressed out of our mom's closet.

[RilianXI]

What kind of clothes do you want, anyway? Maybe your parents are crazier or nosier than mine, but I don't see what's the big deal to walk down to a nearby small clothing store (like cititrends?) and buy a skirt or whatever it is that you want to wear, and just wear it.
You will get looks.
Are your parents the type to forbid such a thing?

[Thoenix]

I've cross-dressed virtually my whole life. After my parents split, there wasn't enough money for two full sets of clothing, one each for myself and my younger brother. My mother dressed me in boys' clothes so they could be handed down to my brother when I had outgrown them. When my stepfather came along, there were valiant attempts to put me in girls' clothes, however those failed over time as I didn't find them comfortable. I had girls' clothes for a few years until my brother got to be my size, then I stole all of his as he outgrew them and my family never got me back into girls' clothes again.

My family knows that I am a semi-professional drag king (I've done drag king theatre in exchange for admission to a convention), though this fact displeases them.

[Doc]

I shop at thrift stores. I can afford not to, but I feel like buying used clothes is ethically more responsible anyway -- it's at least one step away from supporting sweat-shop labor. But being female-bodied my cross-dressing hasn't really offended my family that much, except for family events like weddings, and they'd buy me boy's clothes when I was a little kid.

Anyway, I recommend the thrift stores, because you can probably get several complete 'outfits' for the kind of spending money that a teen is likely to have, and your parents are less likely to complain about it 'cause it's cheap. If my kid paid full-price for clothes that I thought were just part of some silly dress-up-drag-show game, I'd be mad, but I wouldn't care about a few $2 skirts and blouses purchased 'just for fun.'

[Ryles]

It can be easier for biogirls, since it's more acceptable for women to wear men's clothing. A lot of girls at my school wore men's pants a lot because of things like pockets and comfort.

And I do agree on the thrift store. Especially if you're not sure what style you want- no point paying full price on a skirt just to find out you don't like it.

[shedtroll]

Anyway, I recommend the thrift stores, because you can probably get several complete 'outfits' for the kind of spending money that a teen is likely to have, and your parents are less likely to complain about it 'cause it's cheap. If my kid paid full-price for clothes that I thought were just part of some silly dress-up-drag-show game, I'd be mad, but I wouldn't care about a few $2 skirts and blouses purchased 'just for fun.'

Thing is...What if you are not out with your parents like me?

[Jamie]

Buy from a thrift store in private, then smuggle home, change when youve left the house?

[RilianXI]

Anyway, I recommend the thrift stores, because you can probably get several complete 'outfits' for the kind of spending money that a teen is likely to have, and your parents are less likely to complain about it 'cause it's cheap. If my kid paid full-price for clothes that I thought were just part of some silly dress-up-drag-show game, I'd be mad, but I wouldn't care about a few $2 skirts and blouses purchased 'just for fun.'

Thing is...What if you are not out with your parents like me?

That's what Doc is talking about. Doc is saying you don't have to come out; just buy whatever clothes you want and wear them, without telling anyone "why". And if they ask just say you want to, you feel like, it's fun, whatever.

That's what I think Doc is saying, anyway.

[Doc]

Yeah. That's what I mean.

The thrift store prices will probably allow you to buy the feminine clothes you want without having to ask your parents to allocate more money to your clothing-budget. I am assuming that they do give you a certain amount of allowance-money and you probably have some money of your own from gifts and earned from doing odd jobs, etc. Hopefully they are not nosy and won't notice if you go to the thrift-store instead of the movies, and won't demand to inspect what you brought home. Even if they do, you still don't necessarily have to come out. Experimenting with cross-dressing is hardly abnormal teen behavior. I have a vague memory of 'opposite days' at my High School, where people were supposed to wear their clothes inside out or backwards and a lot of the boys dressed as girls. There were always one or two cross-dressed boys at costume parties and on halloween, too. With swanning about and mocking femininity in a way that might be seen as offensive.

It'll be harder for you, because it's actually part of your identity and important to you, but cisgendered boys, even ones from fairly conservative families, can and do buy and wear 'drag' outfits without having to say anything to their parents about it except that it's fun to do every once in a while. The hard part for you is just that you'll be lying if you characterise it as a mere playful impulse.

Unless your parents are really ultra-conservative and believe that cross-dressing, in itself, is a terrible sin. And/or monitor your fun-money budget and your social-life very strictly (as some otherwise liberal parents may be prone to do, in a hard-handed attempt to prevent drug-abuse in their kids) and will question you so much that you're required to come up with elaborate lies which they can then debunk by making weird phone-calls to your friend's parents asking wether or not you are really involved in a plan to perform exerpts from Ed Wood for drama-class.

[Gwydion]

You could combine the thrift store trip with a library trip. Bring a backpack. (They will likely make you check it when you go in, but no matter.) Put the clothes on the bottom and library books on top and to the sides. If you shape it right, it will look like a sack of books. Likely, no questions will be asked. you can experiment in the bathroom or in your room.

[shedtroll]

Well, I have found a way to 'Crossdress' without female clothes...

I have a buff (sorta like a snood, but designed for more outdoorsy types and is very multi functional) that I use as a hat. I Brush my hair to become more femme looking, put on the alice band and then form a false bust using two socks that I secure down with a tight t shirt and cover that with a larger t shirt..

It can be easily undone if my parents return or if anyone is at the door, tis cheap and easy...but still, i'd love a skirt...

You could combine the thrift store trip with a library trip. Bring a backpack. (They will likely make you check it when you go in, but no matter.) Put the clothes on the bottom and library books on top and to the sides. If you shape it right, it will look like a sack of books. Likely, no questions will be asked. you can experiment in the bathroom or in your room.

A very good idea, thing is I'm thinking of what do do after purchase, where to hide it....

[Ryles]

A very good idea, thing is I'm thinking of what do do after purchase, where to hide it....

How old are you? Especially if they fold/put your clothes away, you could start doing your own laundry (read the tags and check the pockets for pen! I ruined a hoodie that way! and nothing else in the load, somehow) so you could just put it in your drawers and hopefully they wouldn't notice. I'm sure you can track down a hiding place in your room somehow.

I put everything I want to hide in my underwear/sock drawer. I do mean everything. I emptied out all the girl panties once and found half a deck of cards and a bar of soap. o_O

[shedtroll]

I'm still in my teens, I kmow how to do laundry, but my mum does the laundry and gives the clothes to me to put away. But I'm still a bit worried if someone was to notice a skirt hanging around somewhere. I'm not 'out' yet...

[Doc]

How conservative are your parents, anyhow?

I've known a lot of goth/hippy cisgender guys who wear skirts in hot weather, actually. While doing yard work, or attending casual/costume events like ren-faires. I'd do it myself if my body didn't go around miscommunicating my identity and making me endlessly try to 'take back' what it says with my clothes. Depending on what style of skirt you want (skirt-wearing cisgendered guys go for loose ankle-length ones, which allow for a lot of air-flow but still give total coverage if you bend or sit with your legs splayed, 'cause if you're wearing a skirt for boy-bit comfort, you're going commando) and the character of your parents, the excuse that the things are excellent for cooling your goods in the summer might hold up.

Those flowy long skirts (often called 'broomstick' skirts) can usually be rolled up really small. I dunno about more formal ones, really. There were about four years of my life where I wore 'broomstick' skirts a lot, but I never cared for any other style.They were great for summer travel because they packed small and drip-dried fast.

So if you need to hide it, you can put it on a box under the bed, and stick a stack of 'personal' papers or old legos or whatever on top. Probably you can hide a pretty good wardrobe of femme clothes this way if you choose stuff that doesn't wrinkle. You could also pick stuff like silk blouses that are androgynous but with feminine details, they'll wrinkle but you could send them through your household's laundry-system just like anything else, and hang them up. If your Mom says, "You know this is a woman's blouse," you can say, "I didn't notice. Oh well, it's really comfortable." At thrift-stores, "women's" and "men's" clothes that are androgynous often end up on the 'wrong' rack. A somewhat poofy female silk shirt that you could wear as part of your regular 'en homme' wardrobe (by rolling up the sleeves and leaving the top button or two undone) can also look very femme if you wear it in femme-fashion and add jewelry.

[Gwydion]

I agree on the broomstick skirts and androgynous blouses generally. I agree that you may be able to get away with more ambiguous items of clothing by simply being confident and if challenged say, "It's the style," or "A lot of guys where these now." My experience is when hiding stuff, if you don't act suspicious in other ways, parents don't look that hard, especially if you have innocuous stuff on top. Remember that behaving furtively or as if you are guilty about something draws attention. Act boldly and calmly, and people generally assume whatever you are doing is normal. Similarly, if you plan to take over your own laundry, do it well before you have something to hide. Establish the innocent routine first, so if they do any searching, it's before you are hiding anything. I suggest taking the tack that you want to practice being more independent now that you are X age. you may want to also frame it as taking over some of the housework as a kindness.

Another option is something like a utilikilt. I know they are men's wear, but they would at least feel more like a skirt if you are wearing it.

[shedtroll]

Another option is something like a utilikilt. I know they are men's wear, but they would at least feel more like a skirt if you are wearing it.

Utilikilt? Sounds.....interesting....

I just found a youtube video of one...but anyway, I'm currently just thinking on what to do at the moment.

[anathema]

I was looking at utilikilts yesterday, actually. Their website says they are ALL out of stock. >.>