Pardon while I rant.

[Saturday]

I'm out as genderqueer to all of my friends, but not to my parents or their friends, which isn't a problem except that they've known me all my life and I'm forced to still present female around them. When I was younger--like, up through high school--I had long hair. Down-to-my-waist long hair. Halfway through college, I cut it shoulder length. At the time, it was mostly because I was lazy and it was easier to deal with short than it was long.

Two years later, I'm still getting my parents' friends, who have seen me since my hair's been cut, making a big deal about how short it is. Which includes them going on about how it's "still pretty" and how "cute" I am with short hair.

Fuck. Thanks for triggering my dysphoria, guys.

It's not even that short. I want it cut about half as long as it is now--I see myself in my head, and I see myself with much shorter hair. There's so many things I want to change about my appearance, but the hair's gotta be the first to go--I like being able to pull it back, but I'm just feminine-looking enough that even with a ponytail, I still look like a girl. Doesn't matter what I do. I just...look like a girl. I hate this. I can't come out to them. My mom might accept it, but my dad never would, and I don't even wanna get started on my grandparents and what these people I have to be around on a regular basis would think. I can't come out until I move away for grad school, and then I'm going to be en homme all the damn time, I've decided. I feel more comfortable with myself when my chest is bound--and I have fucking DDs, so that's not even helping much--and I'm in costume for LARP. This is why I play guys. But even when I'm en homme, I still get people calling me "ma'am", because I look too damn much like a girl.

Christ. I'm so sick and tired of people telling me how pretty I am, and how cute my haircut is, and all this bullshit. But I can't say anything about it. Okay. I'm done ranting. Speaking of hating being female, this is what hormones and moodswings do to my head. I think I'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

[Ryles]

Argh, my mother did that. I think it's their method of dealing with someone who doesn't fit their view of gender- they say that you're still a "pretty girl" so that they don't have to face the androgyny or masculineness.

[Rai]

My hair was waist-length until I cut it just over a year ago. Then I had a boy's haircut, but my grandma kept calling it "sassy" and my parents' friends sometimes called it "darling." And then I cut it to 1/4 inch and my mom's friend was like "Isn't it funny that when women have really short hair everyone wants to touch it all the time?" And in my head I was screaming "Fuck you!" at her. I hate being seen as a woman. I feel like at some point I'm just going to explode and start yelling at people all the time.

[Saturday]

It probably is just a coping mechanism of sorts. Doesn't hurt that under normal circumstances, I'm in a t-shirt and jeans with my cap on, wearing no makeup, basically playing boy-mode. The only way I get away with it is because it's pretty socially acceptable for girls to dress like guys. That does tend to make it harder to pass, though. Probably why I'm -still- getting called "ma'am" all the time.

I'm feeling much better now, though, because I am lucky enough to have awesome understanding friends who listen and offer advice for when I'm going through rough times with all my gender issues.

One of these days, I probably am going to explode. So it's probably a good thing I do have my friends.

[Ryles]

Have you ever tried filling your eyebrows in? That helps someone else I know pass- when they don't do it, they don't pass.

[Saturday]

Actually, I haven't. I usually don't do much makeup unless I'm in my LARP costume, and I tend to look more masculine then, so I ought to try it every now and then when I'm just going out. You'd think that would occur to me once in a while. Funny how such a little thing can change your appearance.

[Ryles]

I think people forget how much the little things matter- but a lot of the time something really small can be the difference between passing and not.

[RilianXI]

Which includes them going on about how it's "still pretty"

Ugh, ew.
Still pretty? As if you cut it on accident. As if you've been disfigured and they're trying to comfort you.

[Allosaurus2]

Have you ever tried filling your eyebrows in?

Ooh, how does that work?

[Ryles]

Have you ever tried filling your eyebrows in?

Ooh, how does that work?

You basically take an eyebrow pencil in your shade (or a tiny bit darker) and you darken your eyebrows with it. You try to make it look realistic. Men have thicker eyebrows- and women almsot never allow their eyebrows to look darker because it looks manlier.
Here's a crossplay techniques for presenting as male- they're pretty specific. http://www.cosplayisland.co.uk/tutorials/crossplayfm

Men have thicker and often darker eyebrows than women, though colour is naturally dependant on hair colour. Choose an eyebrow pencil or eyeliner (solid, not liquid) a shade or two darker than the hair colour, unless the hair is black in which case I suggest a very dark brown pencil for a more natural look.

To apply the makeup, it often helps if the pencil is a little blunt and preferably quite soft. With very light strokes, draw on top of the eyebrow hairs themselves, avoiding getting too much pencil on the skin below. This will give a more natural look. The strokes should be in the direction of the eyebrow hairs to keep it smooth and natural looking. Don’t overdo it – subtlety is the key here to make you look like a real man instead of a woman trying to pretend she’s a man!

It goes on to talk about foundation and other makeup- but I'd avoid that unless you're comfortable that you can do it well, because if people can tell you're wearing makeup it might undo the effect.