Don't know who to talk to

[Werewolf]

So I'm coming into thinking of myself in male terms, it's not so much like anything on the inside has changed, it's more just admitting that this is how I've always felt and and this is what I've always wanted and just taking it slowly so as not to overwhelm myself, or feel guilty about it or suppress it because it always comes back.
Anyway, this means telling someone is on my mind a lot, but right now I feel like I'm stuck in a crap-ass non-accepting town where too many people know me, and I think 'would I make things worse if I told people?'
Distantly I'm related to a cousin (never met them) who supposedly is mtf, and my mum and auntie always make jokes about him(her?) saying stuff like he/she has 'mental problems', and not in a concerned way, but in a mocking way. (I don't want to offend anyone with the imprecise pronouns, I don't know whether they are actually mtf, or just crossdress sometimes). So it makes me nervous about how I'd be treated if they knew, and I'm thinking about talking to someone who is actually specialised in this stuff, but I don't know who (if it means anything I live about three hours from Melbourne).
I don't feel up to riding the counsellor carousel where I'm going round and round telling people and having them diagnose me wrong and then I have find someone else..and someone else. I feel like telling one professional will leave me drained enough, let alone having them react negatively which might closet me up again. I thought a good idea would be initially through email or something, before seeing them face to face. Can you do email therapy? Argh this whole process is so alien to me I have no idea about the order of steps, what to do. And sorry if this is swerving around the place, I'm struggling to get my thoughts across.

[EJA]

Are you in high school? If so, what grade?

[Werewolf]

I'm at uni, studying a 3 year course (this being the first year)

[EJA]

Your university should have some sort of counseling service. Don't actually go there unless they have a special person to treat trans people, but ask if they can refer you to a good transgender therapist.

Do background checks on the people who they refer you to. Look them up online. See what experience they have. Call them specifically and ask them what experience they have treating transgendered people - their response alone should tell you if they're what you need.

If the school doesn't refer you to someone, or if those someones aren't good enough, then do some online searching. That'll make sure you get one you really like. Or, at least decrease the chances of you getting a crap therapist. I spent a few hours online just looking for the right therapist and I've finally found one I think will work. I'm seeing her for the first time next Thursday.

You could also look for an LGBT group on campus - I'm sure there is one. Talk to them; they may have someone to recommend to you.

Maybe it's too early to tell your family, then. And if you really want to at some point, first ask about that mtf cousin, or talk about other transgendered stuff (not relating it to yourself) to test the waters and see how they respond. I can't really give good advice here; I'm not sure what to do about my own 'family' as well.

[Werewolf]

Thanks for your advice, I might do a bit more research about my local area.
As for family, I think I'll put off telling anyone for a while, maybe until I'm not so dependent on living in the household.