Name you go by and why?

[Brett.Blatchley]

Thank you Lyn

sister/brother/whatever!

I have a dear friend, a genetic female, who is like a twin-sister to me, and she calls me her "brother/Sister" (adding sister and capitalizing it). This is something I continually find to be very special because she knows me better than probably any other human; she also very much "gets us," having another close friend who is a transitioning transwoman. Also, I have some trans-acquaintances in my local city who refer to me in the feminine - I find it very special because they choose to recognize the way I am inside.

I think that I would prefer to be referred in the feminine, but I know that most cisgendered people would have difficulty doing that and I would have to "push" (however gently) to be referred this way. (I am a very gentle person and I would rather not be pushy about this point; I know what I am and God knows what I am - it's not nearly so important that everyone else acknowledge it. BESIDES, I live in transgender/blended-gender mode and (at least for now) I think that is "push enough" on the people around me: I regularly violate gender-appearance-norms in a somewhat understated way, I am soft-spoken and I move gracefully - the overall effect seems to be quite feminine, yet not effeminate. My profile picture is pretty representative of my normal appearance.)

Where I have trouble is in those cases where I have been very open/detailed about who and what I am and people (such as my pastor) insist that I am what *they* think I am. These people would insist that I am a man when I will acknowledge that I am clothed in a male form and must act in many male roles, but I am not a 'man.' They think I am confused about this when it is really that that are confused. Such people at best think that I'm a "feminine man" (I'm not; I'm not a 'man') and I won't dignify what they think at worst. But <sigh> even here, if it makes it possible grow our relationship so they can see who I really am (and see Christ in me), then they can call me whatever they wish - my sense of self does not depend on them (anymore).

SO, all that said, If people (here) would like to refer to me in the feminine, I would be OVERJOYED! (BUT please do so because you sense that I am a feminine person and not simply because I say that I am!) And on THAT note:

This post was measured by a program called the GenderAnalyzer. Here is what it said about my writing here:

We think WiG_Post_2.html is written by a woman (70%).

The GenderAnalyzer is a very interesting program. I usually score as a woman or gender neutral. Here is the URL:

http://genderanalyzer.com

What I did is to copy the text into an HTML document and upload it to my webspace and then point the GA to it and let it go...

Take Care Lyn and Everyone!

[bright_frost]

Born: A feminine name starting with 'R'.
Will soon go by: Riley
Want to switch to: Andy, then Andrew

I'm choosing Riley now because it's gender neutral and I'm not foolish enough to think I can actually pass well without hormones, so I'm only going to switch over to Andy once I've started on those, and then perhaps Andrew later on down the road. I don't really like the name Riley much, but I've gotten used to it, and it seems to fit me.

Actually, I go by Andy right now. It's a shortened version of a nickname for my very feminine given name. And like Kladeos, it drives my mother nuts. (Though I really don't care, because she deems it necessary to be so irritating as to, every time she's presented with anything that says "Andy" on it, ask who Andy is even though she knows I've been using that name for two years now.) I would really like to change my name to Alex at some point, since that feels to me like about the most neutral name I've come across.

[Acer]

My birth name fell out of common usage when I got on the internet. I don't use my real name online so I had a few nicknames and then eventually stopped associating with my real name, it feels like I'm using an alias. Obviously I still have to use it if anyone asks, but it makes me feel awkward. Online, currently going by Acer.

[Lyn Aven]

For a while all of my friends used my online nickname, even the RL ones; my real name has come back into use mostly due to not using a nickname in professional contexts.

[Ander]

I go by my birth name, although it has never felt like mine. i try out names on internet sites, usually made up androgynous names. right now i am trying out Ander, as a short form of alexander, which apparently would have been my name had i been a boy.

[Sash]

(I don't feel I can disclose my former or current name)

Sash is a name I'm currently auditioning. My legal name doesn't mesh well for me with the times I feel like a guy or like "neither" - I chose it when transitioning, when I thought I was a monogendered woman. "Sash" came from about a decade or so ago, the same way my current name did - met someone with that name, and decided I liked it. I have no link to either person, and I don't consider either of them a namesake, just the inspiration (if it hadn't been people, it would have been fictional characters or just picked out of a name book). I'm still looking to find a gender-neutral name I can settle on to change to - if I can find it in me to change my name and pronouns *again*... If I thought people could handle it, I'd use two or three names to match my gender at the time.

[itsa_wallaby]

My birth name was very girly. I used to spend time wandering around the backyard, looking at the sky, and wondering what my "real" name was. (I have a very clear memory of being 7 and doing this.) I would come up with random syllables and phonemes that weren't always pronounceable by the human tongue; some were feminine, some masculine, and some pretty damn androgynous.

Now my name is Sean Adlai ___. I like it. Sean can be used for both genders, but it is mostly used for males, which suits me. Adlai is obscure enough that people rarely know which gender it's for. (It's male, but it's the male version of Adelai and Adelaide, the first of which sounds almost exactly the same.)

[Rue]

I usually go by Rue (sometimes spelled "Roo" by my family, "Rioux" by the occasional coffee barista) because I love the way it sounds, it's simple, and suits me well. It was my nickname since I was a baby, and my mom actually got it from a Winnie the Pooh character. Even if it is an odd source for a name, it is much better than my legal name. I'm still trying to get family and friends to call me Rue, though...

[Ghost]

My birth name fell out of common usage when I got on the internet. I don't use my real name online so I had a few nicknames and then eventually stopped associating with my real name, it feels like I'm using an alias. Obviously I still have to use it if anyone asks, but it makes me feel awkward. Online, currently going by Acer.

This. I'm still in school, though, so I think (perhaps wrongly) that I answer to my legal name more often than Acer. Right now, obviously, I'm going by Ghost. It's pretty androgynous, so it's working well for the whole bi-gender situation.

[DreamThorn63]

I'm genderqueer, and more often identify towards male than female. However, I go by a female name. This is actually not my birth name. My parents followed Jewish Tradition and named me after my deceased relatives. Therefore, I've never felt like my name was actually MY name, but belonged to someone else. However, while the full name is that of someone else, I have managed to form an identity around the shortened version. I began forming an identity around this name before I began to identify as genderqueer. So basically, I go by a female name because it is the name which I associate with my total identity, not just my gender identity.

[victor/victoria]

(new here, by the way)
i'm relatively new to the whole playing around with/figuring out my gender scene. although i have yet to come up with a term, no matter which one i eventually use i will always go by my birth name. although victoria is a very female name, i don't particularly care. that's who i've been my enitre life and that is who i plan on being for the rest of it. i don't care if it's neutral sounding or not. my name does not define my gender.
i'm probably in the minority about this, but hey who cares?

[Invader GIR]

I'm going by Alexis to people I'm open to and people on the internet. I just love the androgyny and malleability of it. Though, every form of it I'd use has to have the "lex" emphasised. Which is why I'll never go by Alex. AH is an obvious exception, but that's just hir nature. Apart from Alex, I think I've used every version of it for one or so of my modes in the space of fluidity allowed to me. Alexi for when I'm not quite Lexi or AH (Almost Lexi is another nickname for this) and Lexis for when I'm not quite Lex or AH. It's fun getting to identify and name all the different forms my personality can take.

I have no strong feelings regarding my birth name, Adam. It's just so common, but I'm just so uncommon. I'm glad I can keep the same initials, because I really like these initials. Actually, I really like them. As for my middle names, I think I'll keep the same initials there too, but change my second middle name from Rohan to Robert. I just have a stronger attachment to that name, despite its masculine nature. I haven't told anyone I'll using Robert as my second middle name, though. As for my last name, well I prefer being called that than my first name.

^^Also, welcome! You look really cute there. Hope that isn't a trigger for you, but I mean it in an androgynous way, honestly.

[Lyn Aven]

Add one more to your people-named-Adam list. *points to self* Can't blame you for feeling it's really common.

[theThunderGod]

I go by Tor or Toria depending on how I'm presenting.

Toria is the name I've used since age 10 or 11 (about half my life now). I don't use my birth name at all; I never really felt any connection to it, and actually the only reason my parents picked it was that they didn't like each other's favorite name (mom wanted Kimiko, dad wanted Savannah).

When I started embracing my masculinity I wanted something similar to my usual name that sounded strongly masculine. Tor can be derived as either a shortening of the (male) Scottish Gaelic name Tormod or as a variant of Thor, the Norse god. I'm Scottish and Norwegian so I like having a name that reflects my heritage. Also if I don't want to explain to people who know me only as female why friends call me Tor, I can pass it off as just a nickname, like Sam from Samantha or Jo from Joanne.

[NightBlooming]

Umm, OK, just a little bit: Poetically, I am a female soul clothed in a male form. Bluntly, I am a MTF transsexual who has chosen to remain in male form for the sake of my wife and my marriage vows to her and to God. BUT wait, it's not even THAT simple! I'm really a blend of genders and my body is not fully male either. AND my spouse is actually a (mostly) male soul clothed in a (mostly) female form!

Since I have given-up my "right" to SRS (a dozen years ago) and to hormones (at least as long as my spouse lives), then I will live as transgendered "in-between." I call this expression: "Fairly Uniquely Brett" (FUB) and I'm working on how I do this exactly. I'm becoming MUCH better at "passing" as me!!! (AND, overall, I've received a lot of positive feedback!)

Welcome, Brette!

I hear you about staying where you are because of your beloved partner. I'm not transitioning in part because of my Beloved - he's pretty much as heterosexual as possible. And I've found over time as we've grown closer - I'd rather do things with him. It's a hard path to walk - so here's hugs if you want them.

I like you choice of middle names - I think they sound very beautiful.

Welcome sister, or sibling or whatever you want.

Hope you enjoy the forums here.

[Postmodern Macro]

I HATE being called Samantha. It's so fucking genedered and it's never seemed like it fit me ever. A lot of people call me Sammi, and it's how I introduce myself, but eventually everyone shortens it to Sam. Which I like. C:

[dirghakarna]

i go by the short version of my birthname, chrissy, a nickname which was given to me by a friend some years ago. since i am very new to androgynity and accepting what i really am, i dont know if i will keep it. i always hated my birthname because it sounds old-fashioned and i completely broke up the christian religion, but somehow it feels right, the nickname at least. and it's pretty androgynous

but i really like the idea of two middle names or so, as some of you seem to have taken up. maybe ill end up as chrissy sasha margalo or something... (a masc name ending on -a, and a fem name ending on -o! yes!!)

[QueerKidJess]

My birth name is Jessica and I'm okay with that even though it's quite gendered, but I prefer Jessie or Jess. Jess is my favorite because it's gender neutral, it feels most right to me, and because people often call me it affectionately even w/o me asking

[Postmodern Macro]

My birth name is Jessica and I'm okay with that even though it's quite gendered, but I prefer Jessie or Jess. Jess is my favorite because it's gender neutral, it feels most right to me, and because people often call me it affectionately even w/o me asking

I dunno, Jessie can be gender-neutral too. I've known girls AND boys named Jessie. (Although to be fair, the boys spelled it Jesse.)

[QueerKidJess]

My birth name is Jessica and I'm okay with that even though it's quite gendered, but I prefer Jessie or Jess. Jess is my favorite because it's gender neutral, it feels most right to me, and because people often call me it affectionately even w/o me asking

I dunno, Jessie can be gender-neutral too. I've known girls AND boys named Jessie. (Although to be fair, the boys spelled it Jesse.)

Oh yeah, I know Jessie is gender neutral too, I just prefer Jess for the other 2 reasons lol