I'm FtM so I suppose things for me are a little different. (I've also never had sex, so this is all hypothetical).
I, for one, would never ever even consider any kind of vaginal penetration. Psychologically there are so many things wrong with that for me that I completely reject the thought of it. I would use "aids" or whatever for penetration on my partner but, as you said, I would prefer they use it on me (in the case of, ahem, anal penetration). As far as oral goes (to be performed on me) I guess I would be okay with that, as long as they didn't call it "eating me out".
In a perfect world I would have a penis and this entire post wouldn't matter.. sigh. Hahaha