Rocks and Hard Places

[WriggleMunch]

Okay. So. I need to get a job.
For the past three years I thought it was rather straight-forward: apply, call, hope for interview.
However, since coming out to various individuals (my fiance, her family, my brother, everyone at college) the complexity of the job thing has changed. I have realized that I CAN be myself and be loved for it. I made so many good friends at college this semester. I went by Damien and no one ever so much as batted an eyelash at it. People continuously called me "she" because of my voice, but I was willing to live with that because they were recognizing my name. My name is one of the biggest parts of my identity change I think.

Here's my fight: I don't know whether to apply as Damien on an application or my birth name. I live with my parents, and I can't drive so I would rely on them for transport to/from my job. Also, various family members have a habit of dropping in on you once they find out that you work somewhere. I'm only out to my brother. And I know from past experience that my family does not accept TG people. So even if I could get away with being hired as Damien and such I'd still be forced to present as female. I watch my fiance do that all the time (being forced to present as male at work, not being called by her chosen name) and I see that it is emotionally grating on her. I don't want to go back to the way things were. I HATE it when people call me by my girl name. But I couldn't explain it to my family.

I don't know what to do. :c
The last interview I went to as a female and it felt horrible. I probably didn't get the job because I was uncomfortable with the way I was presenting. I wore a women's dress shirt, a bra, a pair of women's dress pants and a pair of men's dress shoes. I felt really uncomfortable. I wanted a tie or a vest to hide behind.

So. I'm Stuck.
Everyone wants me to move out of my parents house. But I even though I have somewhere to go (kinda) I have medical issues that are of a significant financial burden. (That's why I'm still here mainly.) Leaving my family behind isn't really an option either. :c

So ideas?
I mean, I could present female. It would just... nearly kill me.

[Postmodern Macro]

What about getting an online job?
One where you don't have to present as ANYTHING? You'd just have to put your legal name on the application.

ps I think you'd have to apply for jobs under your legal name too. Just because that's who your paycheck would be made out to.

Idk for sure though.

[Kale]

Well, many jobs aren't supposed to discriminate gender, so there are a lot of places where writing down your gender is optional. If you really wanted to, you could write down your birth name on official documents and still go by your chosen name at work. Present how you feel comfortable but professional. That way you can look relaxed and confident. That's more important than presenting in a way that makes you feel dysphoric. Quite honestly, I feel like the hard part is getting a job regardless of who you are.
As for your parents, I would assume they don't know your chosen name. If they did find out about it after seeing it on your work name tag, you could just tell them it's a nickname, because it sort of is until you make a legal name change. Depending on where you work, you might be wearing a unisex uniform, so that would be nice because you wouldn't have to worry about dressing as male or female.
Good luck on the job hunt!