It's funny you bring up holidays. Last year, I did all the "big holidays" without blood family. It was my partner and some of our friends. The holidays in the kitchen are always always always filled with stress and upset, anger and yelling, and eventually someone breaks down and starts hating everyone. I thought it was the stress of a holiday dinner.
Apparently, it's not. Even with my friend who has Asperger's, which as many know cause her to not pick up on social cues and she ended up having a bit of a tantrum and leaving quite a mess, it was just fine (since I know what Asperger's does, I didn't take offense to her actions or negative words to me). But the holidays were okay! And friends helped clean the kitchen, took leftovers, it was all just FINE. I did the brunt of the cooking and yes it's a production ensuring food cooked at the same time and my feet hurt but I didn't flip out.
Anyway, I ended up getting a plane ticket home for today instead of for a week from now like my original flight plans. I told my brother, who was the only one home, who laughed and said, "Of course! Go! I don't blame you, I want to leave all the time" (he lives there still). I cried because he didn't yell, I was amazed that it was okay. I told dad, who asked if he did anything wrong and we had a long talk so he could understand. He had a hard time understanding and at a few points I felt attcked/insulted but opted to stand my ground. After all, this was the fear I was facing. I had plans that day so I stuck to them and asked dad and my brother to not say anything to mom since I wanted to tell her face-to-face. Brother told her. <.<
But she didn't yell, and also decided to attribute it to something else. I could have let her think it, but decided to express to her the real reason, repeatedly. I know she knows, but she doesn't want to let me know she knows. Fine, as long as she knows.
One sister still needs to know why, telling her...now
I'll respond to anything but am partial to chief.
"Life hands everyone shit. It's what you choose to do with that shit that determines if you're happy."
"Complacency is a shitty reason to be miserable."